Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Last Days

We are spending the last few days before we move to our lovely new home in a state of chaotic mania. I am feeling excited, daunted and overwhelmed just to name a few. Miss Maia is getting over pneumonia (of all retched things), coughing up a lung every time she lays down, JB covered three hospitals over the holiday weekend and just keeps on keeping on with a 13 hour day yesterday beginning with an early morning grand rounds presentation. Book deadlines loom, and I've packed and unpacked several boxes looking for black thread and extra wide double fold bias tape. Yeah, the world does not seem to know that we are trying to pack and move six years of stuff belonging to four people and one dog. And some people are going on a Charles Bukowski bus tour in LA this week!

So, I'm hoping for a calm moment to listen to the peculiar sounds of this apartment, to soak in the here and now, knowing that time moves forward and you don't get to go back, except in memory. So just for a moment I will sit here in the apartment perched high up in the trees, the abundance of sun shining in through the many windows on the soft brown carpet that Mai Mai learned to crawl on. This apartment will be remembered for those two sets of swinging doors which have been a great source of fun, as well as injury, the secret fold-up ironing board built into a broom closet in the kitchen, the toilet that won't flush unless you dump a bucket of water down the bowl (I figured that out!), the soft, spinning whine of the dryer traveling up the laundry chute and the dining room turned romper room for those long winter days.

I can see almost bare walls now, and lots of spider webs above the molding near the ceiling. This is the house where I dreamt of spiders for many, many nights, spiders that sped down on silky thread and hung above my head at night while I dreamt, watching, perhaps spinning out something new and strong and iridescent.

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