Sunday, August 03, 2008

The first due date

When I hear the word "August," I think humidity; hot and sticky and sweltering. August 1st came around and indeed the weather fulfilled my expectations. August 1st, twelve years ago, was Juj's due date, and that day came and went with no signs of labor. I actually believed in a due date back then - a magical number - a promise. I waited and waited in the hot days of early august, and nothing. No contractions, no spotting, no effacement, no dilation. Seven days later and the same story. He's late, he's stubborn, he's a girl, people would say. Let's get this thing cracking my Dr. would say. Still, nothing, after a day and a night of induction. Ridiculous, I thought. What did I know? August 9th, 11:22 p.m., Julian emerged, blue and then crying. My boy, my dark haired beautiful boy who I will always protect, who will always make me wonder, "what do I know?" And then, life will happen, as it always does, regardless of the weather or the promises, despite the waiting or the wishing or the predictions.

This week I will watch him with wonder.

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